Friday, September 17, 2010

Let's Get Real....How Do I know If I'm Called To Adopt?

How do I know if I'm called to adopt? I get asked this question quite often by those struggling with the thought of adoption. Let's face it, we all go through the beginning stages of God laying something on our heart and then we bombard our minds with all kinds of questions like......
God, is that you or did I just make that up? How can I love a child that is not my own? Can I physically, financially and emotionally take on another child? How in the world can I come up with that kind of money? When, Lord When, when is the right time?

These are questions that any of us who have adopted have asked ourselves at one time or another. I know that there are many who read this blog who are praying about whether they are called to adopt or not.

I would like to hear from some of you who would like to share how God laid adoption on your heart and then what caused you to move forward. I know I have a cool story of how God confirmed to us without a doubt that He was right in the middle of it all. I will share that in the next post but if some of you want to share your cool stories as well, I know that will encourage those in the beginning stages of praying this through.

And if some of you who are praying about this have other questions regarding this then throw them out. There are enough people who read this that I'm sure you will get some insight.

So LET'S GET REAL people..... How do you know if you are called to adopt?

I look forward to reading your comments :)

22 comments:

  1. Ohh I cannot wait to read the responses. We have adopted twice, and it was all God in all different ways that I hope to write about someday soon. I did just write a post this past Monday about the orphan that maybe some would get encouragement from.
    Also, I needed to read this, because I feel God is wanting us to adopt again and there are so many "worldy" road blocks in my mind right now so the wait to see how we are to do this is hard right now...but I KNOW GOD WILL PROVIDE..he has twice already!
    Carrie
    www.hiswillandgrace.blogspot.com

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  2. To be honest- in the beginning it was about having children for us. Then after our first 3 came to us from the foster care system and we moved to another state. It became- well God there are always those in foster care that need a place to be- for a while. Then 3 more children later. God awakened something inside us to do another adoption. With a larger family we felt that international adoption was for us.

    God opened our hearts in ways we couldn't have imagined. And we adopted our 7th child from Ethiopia. When we were in the midst of number 8.....things fell apart.

    We still knew God was calling us to another adoption- and out of the blue He said here you go. And that was our domestic adoption which literally knocked our socks off.

    I guess to answer the question- I believe that God calls us to become passionate about different things. When God lays that passion in your heart you start to learn about it. Ask questions about it. Talk with others about it. THAT IS GOD!!!!!

    We never thought having 8 children (and probably more) was in our plans. Thank God HE did. I am sooo glad we listened to HIM! In the beginning it was about having children...then about helping out some children for a while....then it became our mission field. Very clearly God moved us in HIS direction.

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  3. I always knew I wanted to adopt in the future. My husband always said 10 yrs from the last baby. The feeling to adopt was getting stronger. I felt an urgency. I picked up a book called Fields of the Fatherless at the thrift store. It looked good so I brought it home and read it. I had no idea what it was about. I can see now how God had that book there at the perfect time. While reading it I felt God calling me to Russia, but I didnt know what for. The day after I finished the book I got an email about a little girl who is deaf and blind and needed a family. I ask my husband if I could find out where she was from, he said yes but that was as far as it was going to go. She was from Russia.

    It was the completely wrong time. My husband had just lost his job and I was a sahm so no way we would get approved. I prayed. I ask God if this was from Him to put it into my husband but if it was not then take it out of me. 3 weeks later my husband told me we needed to adopt.

    Making along story short we lost our referral of that deaf blind child in Russia. We were heartbroken and broke. I knew God called us to adopt but why was this happening? I prayed. I dont think I ever stopped praying. We had been in the process to adopt her for 5 months and now we had thousands of dollars in documents and fees and paperwork and clearances and nothing to do with them.

    Someone told me to call a women in Pa. I called her and told her we were homestudy ready, clearance ready and paperwork ready to adopt internationally. She said I have a boy in Texas.

    Boy? Texas? No. Girl. Russia. We started to find out about this child who was in fact a newborn, we were adopting a toddler, or so we thought. This was completely different and besides it couldnt possibly work. We would have to change all the paperwork and that could take months not to mention we didnt have but 3400.00 in the adoption fund. I told her we would pray about it.

    We decided to move forward after all if it was God's will it was God's bill and if not his birthmom wouldnt pick us and we would move on. It took birthmom 10 minutes to pick our profile out of the 3-4 she had. We got the call the day after Mothers day. They told me the paperwork went through in one day and not knowing at all how much money we had they told us the total cost of his adoption after they had a grant for him was 3400.00 God amazes me.

    From the time we found out about our son until he was lovingly placed in my arms was 4 weeks. He was given to us 6 months from the day God spoke to my heart and called my husband and I to adopt.

    He is the light of my life and his birthmom is a treasure we adore. We have a very open relationship with her including videos, letters, pictures, phone calls and visits although we live very far away. I know God needed my eyes to be opened and my heart to not only adoption but special needs adoption. I also know that God gave us our son not just for him or us but because we have a responsibility to show God's love to his birthparents and bring them to a relationship with their Heavenly Father.


    be blessed
    Ashlee

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  4. Adoption has always been on both of our hearts. Last March we were at a Chris Tomlin concert and saw a video on African orphans and talked about how "someday" it would cool to adopt. we left it at that. a few weeks later we were having coffee together and brought it up again. Both of us felt that God was telling us to adopt NOW. We hadn't even talked about it since the concert. We had no clue how we could afford the adoption. So separately we both knew that this is what God had in his plans for us. We prayed together about it and asked that doors be closed if this is not what He wanted for us. I think if God has placed adoption on your heart then you were probably meant to adopt.

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  5. you can see our gotcha day video and hear a little bit of our story on it on our blog...

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  6. We are currently praying and preparing ourselves to adopt a child from ET next year!

    How did we know?

    Well, I had always wanted to adopt, but never thought we actually would. It was just a "good idea". Then a new couple came to our church who were adopting a boy from ET. I became friends with the wife, and I got to be apart of many fundraisers for them and through them- God began stirring my heart. I would stay up all night researching and reading about Africa and Adoption (I still do!)and praying about it, but my husband was not on board at all.

    Since he was not for it, I began to think..."IS this just me? Do I want to adopt just because my friend is? Do I just want a baby? Do I just want attention? Or is this YOU God? I was struggling with this so much, that I convinced my husband to begin trying to have a baby of our own. It would be confirmation to me- if I have a baby and I still have the desire to adopt, then I know that it's not just ME wanting a baby.

    Two months later I was pregnant- and still thinking of adoption. 8 months later I was holding our beautiful new baby girl- and adoption was still in the back of my mind. All this time I had been praying for God to change my husbands heart as well.

    So, a year and a new baby later- the desire has only got stronger. I have prayed many times to God, that if this is not HIM, then to just take the desire away from me! But he hasnt.

    Then one day (just a month ago- actually), I was watching an ET "gotcha day" video. My three year old daughter was in the room, and asked me who all the kids in the video were. I told her that they were kids with no mommmies or daddys, no home, sometimes no food and clothes, no shoes and no toys. My daughter thought for a minute, then said "But mom! WE can help the Orphans! WE can go get them and bring them here! They can play with my toys and sleep in my bed!"

    My eyes watered as I told her "Yes baby, yes we can!" Since that day, we have started an adoption fund (starting out with a jar of pocket change), decided on an agency, PRAYED, and began preparing ourselves for this journey. At least twice a week our three year old mentions something about helping the Orphans. "Let the little children lead us..."

    As for my husband- he is coming along!!!! He went from an absolute NO, to a yes, and he is reading information with me, talking about it with me- God is working in him!

    "Hold true to the vision God has placed in your heart, and watch good things happen. Never settle for anything less than what you know God has called you to do."

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  7. I had heard my big sister talking about it for years but it never seemed like something I would do...THEN...God used the Mihnovich Family video to open my heart...then I swear I JUST KNEW!!! I felt a comfort from God with it...there were lots of cool signs...but I JUST KNEW WE WERE SUPPOSE TO...simple as that!! kj

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  8. Hi Kelly! I've been encouraged by your blog and what you're doing with your life many times. So today I thought I'd share a piece of my story so that it may encourage others. My husband and I had always wanted to adopt, but once we had 2 small children we were so tired. Then my mom, who had a stroke, came to live with us. My husband quit his steady job and started his own business. I was homeschooling. My plate felt very full. Then one morning I came to Romans 12:2 in my quiet time. Right away I felt the Lord telling me to camp out on this verse, let it soak in, go deep. "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Oh, right away the Lord began speaking to me about adoption. The world was telling me that my hands were full, that I shouldn't do anything that would make my life "harder." The Lord told me that we'd adopt, and a few days later He gave me a vision of a little African girl, with short, curly hair. I knew at that moment that we had to adopt a toddler girl from Africa. Nothing in our circumstances lined up with my new passion, and I began to really learn what it means to walk by faith. Almost 4 years to the day that the Lord first spoke to me we received our referral for our 3 1/2 year old daughter. The next few months were difficult as we learned that she had many health problems and was declared 'special needs.' I continued to walk in faith in ways that I never had before. We brought her home in January, and she is amazing!! Pretty much every day, everywhere we go, people want to talk about adoption with me. I am amazed at the doors that God has opened through this little girl's life. It was all a part of HIS good, pleasing and perfect will. If you want to know more about her story, I've kept a blog since the day we passed court. nieuwstraten.blogspot.com

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  9. Adoption was something I always wanted to do as a child, along with having a big family. When I met my husband 11 years ago, he said he only wanted to have one child. We'll, I told him he was with the wrong girl. It turns out, he was with the right girl and two years into our marriage our first son was born. Within 4 years, we had 3 children and one year later we started the process of adopting a child.

    How did we know we were to adopt? God was loud and clear. I firmly believe that if adoption is something that is laid on your heart and doesn't go away that you should pursue it-read about it, look up scripture about it, read blogs about it, ask people who have adopted about it and pray, pray, pray.

    When we first started the process of narrowing down a country, we met the requirements for Korea and Ethiopia. We picked Korea one night-for no particular reason, but as I went to bed that night, I felt unsettled and asked God to make it clear the country that we should adopt from. Well, the next day we went to church (it was a new church for us and only the second time we had attended). It happened to be Africa Sunday (we had no idea) and the whole staff was wearing "Go to Africa" t-shirts. The big screens in the sanctuary said, "Go to Africa" and then a group of African orphans got up to sing and lead us in worship. Are you kidding me? Couldn't have been any clearer.

    Needless to say, we went to Africa and instead of one child, God called us to two beautiful little girls that we brought home from Ethiopia in January.

    God has continued to move and although we literally drained "our" savings account to bring our girls home, we again feel lead to answer God's call to bring home another one of His precious children. Even though we've only been home for 8 months, we just started the process of adopting an 8 year old girl on our agency's waiting child list. We barely have the money needed to start the process, but we have complete peace that God will provide for this adoption, just as He did for the last one.

    So for any of you that are reading this and the only thing that is holding you back is the money aspect-trust in God. It's really His bank account anyway and He delights in exhaulting our inadequacies for His Glory.

    God the creator of the universe and author of salvation can certainly handle financing your adoption.

    How do you know-you ask God and when you hear Him speak, you do not doubt:

    "But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind". James 1:6


    Jessica
    http://steadfastminds-ethiopia.blogspot.com/

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  10. I am a single male, 49 years old and want to adopt with all my heart. 3 years ago I came back to the Lord after a time of backsliding. During that time I became content with singleness. When I rededicated to the Lord, I met a family of 2 boys and 2 girls. One of the girls stole my heart, she was shy and had no self confidence, I immediately befriended her and helped her, now she is a bright eyed 8 year old with many friends and always a smile on her face. During that time I know I heard God tell me I was going to have more kids than I could imagine. I have been on 2 mision trips, the last one 2 weeks in an Honduras Orphanage. My heart breaks knowing I would be a good Daddy to them only I feel there needs to be a Mommy also. What should I do, God has put adoption strong on my heart, I love watching Gocha day videos, I melt every time I see a Dad with his little girl, my ears are tuned to the sound of a childs voice, cry, or laugh. Any advice?
    God Bless,
    Robert

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  11. I so need to hear the responses to this question. I'm not ready to go into detail but I will just say that God is working on me regarding this subject. He has been FOR YEARS; the problem is that my husband has not felt the same burden. I know that this is a common occurrence. I look forward to seeing what God has in store for my family.

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  12. Here's our "Why Adopt?" post:

    http://adoptingforlife.blogspot.com/2010/04/why-adopt-we-have-three-beautiful.html

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  13. August 2008 I ordered adoption packets from several agencies and began to talk with hubby. He agreed to pray and think about and once we had paid off my school loans he would consider.

    For the next year I worked hard to pay off my loans, knowing it would take 3-4 years. Adoption was everywhere, church bulliten, magazine articles, friends we hadn't seen for years adopting, etc.

    August 2009 hubby came home and said God has told me we should adopt and know...order the packets and lets get started. I started to say, but we don't have my loans paid off. He said if God brings us to this, He will provide.

    Provide he has,our daughter turned 10 months old yesterday, exactly one year after we submitted our initial application to adopt. Her Visa Physical is 09/29, so I expect to travel to Korea to bring her home next month.

    God is good! For a person that is burdened to adopt, but your spouse is not or you do not have a spouse to share that desire. PRAY! God can surprise us in ways that we could never imagine and change hearts in ways that our proddings never could.

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  14. We decided to adopt three years ago, we were on our way to a trip to celebrate our 10th anniversary with three children under the age of 6 at home. We were both open to transracial adoption but at first I had concerns over things like how a teenage adopted child of a different race would feel being raised by white parents. No matter what crazy concern I came up with my wise husband would always turn me back towards the Bible and God's word concerning adoption. It hasn't been a straight path with us, more like a roller coaster ride. We started with Ethiopia, then were asked to foster Haitian orphaned sisters. A few months ago when we were praying about Ethiopian versus domestic adoption when we came across your blog post regarding the immense need for domestic adoption. We are now almost through with our homestudy and are pursuing domestic adoption. There were many days during this process that I felt like God was tapping me on the shoulder telling me His will regarding our adoption, but like a stubborn child I had my fingers in my ears, humming loudly, saying "I can't hear you". I believe with all my heart that God has led us down this path and will sustain us and continue to fill us with joy as we seek to fulfill God's will in John 14:18. Thank you for all you do, for being a leader in serving those in need and for your support for those of us on this journey.
    Blessings,
    Polly

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  15. I felt the call to adoption at my computer as I stalked a blog of a family in China bringing home their daughter. At the time, I was awake with our newborn. I checked the blog daily and felt anxious about adoption. I then heard God speak to my heart that I was to love the baby I had for right now. I so needed to hear that! Well, the newborn will be 3 in a few weeks and My Dear and I have both felt the nudge that now is the time. We are waiting and saving. Putting coins in our God Jar. God has told us to prepare our purses and I know He will lead us the rest of the way. We have seen doors closed and have checked out agencies. Wondering if it is international or Domestic....so we wait...

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  16. My husband and I brought home our daughter from Ethiopia to join our other 3 children this past May, and we have already started the process to adopt again.

    I would recommmend reading "Fields of the Fatherless" to know ,more about what God demands of us with regards to the fatherless.

    Also, if for some reason you choose not to adopt, there are still SO many ways you can take care of the fatherless!

    Check out our family's blog ( www.TheBestulFamily.blogspot.com )for our adoption storry and witness God's hand in it. It has been such a blessing, and we know that God asks even more of us.

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  17. Let me start by saying...We have not adopted yet. I saw Kelly's blog title on my blog roll bright an early this morning and noticed that it was new updated post so I clicked to read. You see I am one of these questioning people she speaks of! After reading her post and the comments, I closed my computer and said, “Well, Lord you’ll have to speak to me clearly and to my DH (whose always had a heart for adoption but 5 kiddos later and there are many things to consider) but tell him first because I hate pulling teeth, the Eve in me can be pretty strong. I am currently mother to 5 birth daughters (13yr, 10yr w/special needs, 5, 3, and a 16 months). My plate feels full but I am open to God’s leading. I am hooked on the commission and find myself engulfed in books like Crazy Love, Radical, The hole in our gospel (current), and a few others. I tell myself maybe I can support others who want to adopt but can’t financially. My day starts with the kiddos and the thought passes. This evening, after dance my 3 year old who is in cahoots with my 5 year old say’s to me, “Mommie, when are we going to get a brother for Nadia (our 16 month old). She needs someone to play with and the baby will be so cute.” I ask, “A brother from my belly or one who doesn’t have a Mommie”. She says, “One who doesn’t have a Mommie”. I’m thinking, hmm-that’s interesting that she would say that today. Oh but wait, here’s the deal sealer….she ends with, “God is depending on us.” What more can I say…I will continue to pray. Kisha G.

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  18. My husband and I know we have been called to adopt. We knew this before we were married 7 years ago. I feel like I have "worldly" hurdles in my way. Specifically, I'm concerned about adopting as a working mom. My working outside the home won't change. I haven't found a single adoption blog yet that has both parents working outside the home. Any thoughts?

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  19. @ Anonymous- If you and your husband know this is for you then I would suggest be more specific in your prayer time and possibly look into starting the process. We are blessed that God can see pass our human minds and He changes hearts too. Listen, God is depending on us…I got this from my 3 year old a few days ago! While you pray if you haven’t already read or listened to these, I suggest doing so: The Hole in our Gospel or There is no me without you by Melissa Greene. I realize there are some unique dynamics as it relates to adopting a child but with prayer, counseling (if necessary), loving parents and a great support group…You can do it and rescue a life in the process! The thing about children is that they also make the parents better people! I’m sure the seasoned adoptive moms on this chain may have better insight or more thoughts on your situation.

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  20. Anonymous...both my husband and I work outside the home...it can be done. If you have questions you can contact me on our blog.
    www.hiswillandgrace.blogspot.com

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  21. Thank you so much for the encouragement my heart needed. I truly appreciate it! I will most certainly check out the books and visit your blog, Carrie. Thank you for sharing.

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  22. I believe we are being called to adopt. When God knocks on our (husband and I) hearts we tend to get sappy and teary-eyed over whatever the topic is. Every time we are obedient to that heart pull he rewards us abundantly. And recently we have waited on adoption hoping to get pregnant, but in our hearts we know God already has a child picked out for us, and we need to answer his call.I love this feeling! Mother and Father of one bio child.

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